Someone tells you they don't think you have this disorder help?

i don't know what i say really but here i goes iv been fighting to show i have disorder that ruins my life from being normal to i can't look my self in the mirror and say im normal i don't want to lie to my self i need help with they tell me im to verbal and to social when i never leave my house and never want to see people you feel it so much in you're gut and they just don't listing i just need something to tell them to keep them speechless to help me help them see my point of view when i cry to the point i know its there and no one seems to listing to me when i do all the . i don't feel il live longer not being treated for this cause how bad my life is with it im not crazy just need help with def ears that im so good at hiding this disorder due to not being judged as a kid bully ed so i hid it in front of them so they never see it but they see i try to hide it but no one seems to hear me i wish someone would its been there since i was a kid and i know its there i teared up when i seen the symptoms i really need help i know but i think i just need someone to talk to about who can say i see it cause im really down over this i just end help wwith his battle since i can't fight it alone and i want to stick with my guns i think i have autism i can mark any thing in any symptoms list and cry at every video though there eyes cause i see it as me im not trying to insult anyone with it i just know im one of them thanks for reading if you did! you make me feel like i have a meaning and hope someone can be on my side